Once (R)
In this day and age where movie studios only release musicals from Pixar (animations with Phil Collins performing the vocals) it’s refreshing to again see a true-life musical (with humans instead of animals, no less). But instead of a Sound of Music story with songs stuck in here and there, this film follows a few days in the lives of a man and a woman, who just happen to be musicians – both on screen and in real life.
This limited-release U.K. film stars Glen Hansard (from Ireland) and Markéta Irglová (from the Czech Republic). These are real people who really did work together as musicians in real life. It makes for magic on screen to see them interact. Glen plays the role of a struggling artist working the streets of Dublin by singing songs and strumming his guitar for cash. (He’s no Sting, but he can sing and write fairly catchy tunes.) He’s also a vacuum cleaner repairman by day.
Just so happens, Markéta needs her vacuum fixed, so they hook up accidentally for that reason alone. But soon Glen finds out Markéta can both play piano and sing great harmonies. The musicians in the theater will be entranced by the chemistry of this first musical encounter. Having real musicians playing the part of the actors is genius. The director lets the scene go real-time, and it’s a magical moment. Shame the director couldn’t afford a tripod for this independent film, but I digress.
Before you can say “Irish potatoes,” Glen gets the idea that they should go into a recording studio and record a demo together. Every musician in the world thinks this way. Regardless of the cost or outcome, it’s a milestone as big as getting one’s driver’s license.
This story embraces the fact that one does not have to actually become a superstar to glean wonderful memories of milestones and achievements that most ordinary souls can only dream about. Musicians, painters, dancers will all “get it” when watching this film. Others who miss the point will still find the love story alone to be enough to carry the movie.
The surprising R Rating is due to the salty language sprinkled throughout the film.
– Wait for DVD
300 (R)
We’ve all heard of Spartans, warriors that were exposed to extremes to withstand vicious cold and searing heat, and trained to defeat any enemy – even if greatly outnumbered. It’s amazing that only now a movie would take on the depiction of such warriors with full CG support.
300 is a movie for people that enjoy big, expensive scenes of battle where the good guys are clearly defined and the bad guys exposed as such. The blood, although comic book in its stop-motion images, does spill freely, along with arms, legs and heads being severed. War is never pretty. But this is not a Saving Private Ryan sort of filmmaking. It’s more computer game action than watching real lives taken by the hundreds.
The use of slow motion and stop action actually enhances the battle scenes. You are able to see each Spartan in his engagement with his opponent.
Although there are no superstars of any significance here, the acting and storyline are top-notch. Gerard Butler as the Spartan King Leonidas delivers great lines that Schwarzenegger would envy. It’s not believable for a moment that 300 men could fight non-stop, like a bunch of Toyota assembly robots, against thousands of enemy soldiers, without rest. But it sure makes for a great action movie.
– See it on the Big Screen
The Host (R)
This 2006 Korean monster movie was released as Gwoemul in the Asian market. The 2007 release gets English subtitles, but The Host has too much Korean, over-the-top, flavor to the humor that few Americans will enjoy.
The monster CG is very well done, and parts of the film are certainly scary enough to seal the deal. But the slower parts between the scenes of horror fall flat like a poorly executed Saturday Night Live skit.
Particularly disappointing is the lead character, a whining, lazy lump, who manages to get most of his family killed, one by one, with his inability to do anything correctly. What is this, Korean Gilligan’s Island? It’s painful to watch and difficult to care about such a loser for two full hours.
Then there is the fact that although the man-eating monster is seen countless times at the same bridge, only the locals attempt to fight it there. The Korean military or police force is nowhere to be seen, except when a police unit walks along the riverside to arrest people who are attempting to kill the monster. Is the Korean military too busy fighting Godzilla and Mothra on the other side of the Korean Peninsula?
Then there’s the usual Asian ending. After seeing countless Asian films, I must admit, although Hollywood makes a lot of terrible movies, Hollywood’s golden rule of how a film must end is the best formula for the best overall movie-going experience.
9 out of 10 critics loved this movie. Insanity! There are lots of reasons this movie is not playing at the major theater chains. Although this film will be a huge DVD rental hit, I’d either fast-forward through the lame bits or wait for it to hit the pay channels.
– Wait for HBO
Zodiac (R)
There are just enough scenes like the one above to keep moviegoers in their seats. This is less a thriller and more a 2-hour and 40-minute docudrama crime investigation. Those that know the ending (this is based on the true story of the Zodiac killer investigation) will likely be ready for the credits after two hours. I’ll stop there.
The realistic murders are brutal and reveal that the killer, although intelligent like a typical serial killer, was a rather inept killing machine, leaving far too many people alive to talk about their attacker. Speaking of talking, there is a lot of dialogue in this film, so if you see it in a theater full of annoying folks that like to talk to the screen or among themselves, you’ll miss important movie dialogue. Based on the length and necessary dialog offered, I’d recommend seeing this one at home.
– Wait for Rental
The Astronaut Farmer (PG)
Billy Bob Thornton is one of those actors (like Tom Hanks) that people can watch (for hours!) while these actors do ordinary things. Sling Blade is a good example, and The Astronaut Farmer is another.
It also helps that Thornton is surrounded by an excellent cast, including Virginia Madsen and two sweet little girls, playing the wife and two carefree daughters of a man who plans to launch himself into space in a homemade rocket built in the barn in their backyard. Downright kooky.
Although Thornton spends 100% of his time obsessing with this pending launch, his family is perfectly well adjusted, as if their father is a shoe salesman or something. It’s also great to see Bruce Dern working again, playing the grandfather of the children.
Whether you’ll enjoy this film or not totally depends on your ability to leave your skepticism at the theater door. Few people would believe for a second that even an engineer could build a real rocket, by himself, capable of taking a human into space, given that most countries can’t do it. But that’s not the point of the movie. Get over it quickly. The driving force of this film is:
A) Is this guy really loony, as most people in the town believe?
B) Can this rocket really lift off at all? Would he perish if it did?
C) Will the U.S. Government do everything in its power to thwart the launch of such a vehicle?
D) Will everyone always try their best to laugh and otherwise mock and destroy anyone who has the urge to dream or try something new?
Of the above items, “C” is the most pressing issue, and the moral of the story is “D”.
This is a family movie, but I’ll warn you that just prior to the last act, it’s a bit slow-moving. Kids and some adults may get antsy.
There is another big-time actor making a small appearance as well, but I won’t ruin the surprise. This is a movie that should be seen in a theater full of people.
– See it on The Big Screen
Pan’s Labyrinth (R)
Though listed as a horror/thriller film, I’d drop the horror part so as not to mislead the audience. But it is for adults.
This English-subtitled, Spanish-language movie is a strange one to be sure. There are two stories going on in parallel. One has the adults playing a cat and mouse, Nazis against the rebel resistance hiding in the woods, and another follows a young girl crossing the line between Earth and an underworld land of fairies and monsters.
Yeah, odd. But it’ll keep you intrigued for a full two hours.
It’s well acted and the effects are top-notch; however, there is no reason to rush out to the theaters to see this odd foreign film. It will make a terrific rental.
– Wait for DVD
Apocalypto (R)
Like him or not, Mel Gibson knows how to direct epic films. For those that may have forgotten, he directed both Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ. His latest film, Apocalypto, is every bit as engrossing as his previous films, even at its 2-hour-30-minute running time.
There are virtually no known actors in this film; instead, he used an entirely local Brazilian cast. Every one of them can act as well as any Hollywood star, showing just how important good casting really is.
The movie opens with a hunting scene showing us a primitive tribe in the era of the Aztecs (just prior to the arrival of the Europeans on ships). The tribe is a tight-knit society with a good sense of both humor and harmony. During the hunt, they cross paths with another tribe in the jungle.
Unlike other reviewers, I won’t reveal anything more about this meeting of tribes as it would spoil the tense moment that both groups experience. What I will tell you is that there is a distant civilization that is very much ahead of their time. They have built huge stone temples and quite a large city, but they have recently been served a bout of both disease and famine, the likes of which they have never seen. Surely, their god is angry with them.
To appease this misfortune, they believe they need to capture and sacrifice large numbers of people to the gods to end this streak of bad luck. We’ve all heard about these past offerings, occurring at some tall stone temple, but to see this happening in person is something else indeed. The whole plan is harsh, starting with the attack of the neighboring villages, including murder and rape, before burning the villages to the ground, and ending with the sight and sound of bloody, freshly lopped-off heads bouncing like basketballs down the stone steps of the temple to the frenzied crowds below. Oh, and we all remember the stories of human hearts cut out and shown to the victims just before they die. That’s here too, all in the name of sacrifice.
But this isn’t the strength of the story – anyone can make a gruesome, cutthroat story of the days before civility took hold in most of the world. But here, Gibson captures, perfectly, all sides of the drama:
We feel the dread felt by the victims as they are marched away from their villages.
We witness the fear, shock and dread felt by all the children that are left behind as their parents are marched away. Heartbreaking. Awful.
We sense the feeling of superiority by the aggressors.
And perhaps most interesting, we observe the Super Bowl mob feel of the well-orchestrated sacrificial rites as the city anticipates a great outcome from their offerings of these captured souls to their god. I can only imagine the time and effort it took to create and film these scenes.
A lot of comparisons to past wars (religion?) or armies (Japanese?) or situations (Vietnam?) could be made with this story, but whether you try to make the connection to real life or not will not lessen the entertainment factor as this tale unfolds.
There is yet another disturbing scene of a young girl who bears the open sores of the scourge. As the captured villagers are marched by her, the aggressors keep the infectious little girl away from everyone (mostly themselves) by literally poking her away with a stick whenever she tries to approach. Eerily, she suddenly speaks warnings of a dim future to the aggressors as they pass. Dark scene all the way around – good filmmaking.
There will always be good VS. evil in our world, and it would seem that only an outside party can distinguish which side is which. But one thing this film drives home loudly is the thought that evil may rule the day today, but good may well take hold a day later. Then evil may well show up three days later in a different form. The pendulum continually swings.
So how exactly did the Aztecs rise to such a height only to suddenly disappear without a trace? Whether this offers a hint or not, Gibson has certainly constructed one hell of a gory roller coaster ride for anyone willing to buy a ticket.
{In Yucatec with large, readable English subtitles}
– See it on The Big Screen (If 2.5 hours long works for you.)
Casino Royale (PG-13)
Daniel Craig plays the budding 007 in this prequel to all the James Bond movies you’ve seen throughout your life. But before he can become the 007 we all know and love, he must first complete two kills, then learn how to decide on his favorite drink (this is even pre-“shaken, not stirred”), and so forth. Daniel Craig does a good job and will no doubt continue the series.
The story is based on Ian Fleming’s first 007 novel from 1952. There is no “Q” yet to arm 007 with all those cool gadgets. But “M” is here, still played by Judi Dench.
The title refers to a casino, where you’ll spend perhaps more movie time than you would prefer, unless you are one of those folks that watch the poker playoffs on ESPN. At 2.5 hours, this movie is fat, but not boring. Bond has to win this high-stakes poker tournament in order to foil the funding of a huge terrorist network. With the Cold War over, terrorists are the politically correct enemies of choice for modern-day movies.
Perhaps a few chapters of the novel were left out of the film (thank god, time-wise!) because the speedy introduction of characters and chase scenes leaves one a bit puzzled. But ignoring the cloudy character connections will still give the viewer a good ride.
The first scene is by far the best, so savor it. I expect few people will watch this movie more than once, other than the spectacular first action scene.
There are two Bond girls for the offering. Ivana Milicevic would have made a better Bond gal, but instead, Bond is forced to switch midstream to Eva Green. Ms. Green could lose some of the mascara that makes her look like a raccoon. I doubt this movie will launch her into bigger roles. After seeing the torture scene, I was surprised to find this movie received a PG-13 rating. Without the 007 franchise in the mix, I believe an “R” would have been branded on this pony.
That being said, the lines are well written, the cast can all act, and the camera work is steady and professional. All fans of James Bond will be happy with this latest, fat prequel.
– See it on The Big Screen (If 2.5 hours long works for you.)
The Departed (R)
With such a monster talent pool of cast members and Martin Scorsese directing, how could this movie miss?
It doesn’t.
The Departed, or “Depaa-ted” as Bostonians say it, follows the brutal and tense story of the Mob VS. the Massachusetts State Police Depaa-tment. The Mob thinks it has a cop rat in its organization, and the anti-Mob special task force unit thinks they have a Mob rat in their midst.
Matt Damon is from Cambridge, Mass., so his natural ability to pull off the “Southy” accent was easy. But the whole veteran cast has the chops to persuade you they are all Irish and from Boston.
The cast includes Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin. The writing is top-notch, and the banter is sharp enough to keep you from complaining much about the 2 1/2-hour running time. Mark Wahlberg (originally from Dorchester, Mass.) is on his game as well as a sharp-tongued cop who knows when he’s standing in front of someone who’s not a cop. Great stuff.
This movie is smart and “in your face” brutally intense. How could it not be? It’s a Scorsese Mafia movie!
– See it on The Big Screen (If 2.5 hours long works for you.)
The Protector (R)
Tony Jaa, the Thai martial arts action hero who starred in the movie ONG-BAK: The Thai Warrior, stars in another action flick called The Protector. Here, Tony goes to Australia to recover two stolen elephants and avenge the murder of his father.
No need to divulge any more storyline than that*. Either you like kung-fu movies or you don’t. The acting is on par with other movies of this genre. But no doubt about it, Tony Jaa is the Bruce Lee of today, and fans who show up for these movies love every bone-snapping minute of his artful fighting scenes.
Half of the movie is in Thai with large, readable English subtitles. The other half is in English, some of which is poorly dubbed.
*This movie was shown full-length in Asia, edited for time before its European release, and then edited AGAIN to shorten it even further for the U.S. release. It’s now a 90-minute movie. With 1/3 of the movie missing, the storyline is nearly gone as well. A real mess. The full DVD release will be the best way to see this film.
– Wait for DVD
Crank (R)
Preposterous.
That would be my one-word review of Crank, the latest offering from Jason Statham, the actor that gave us excitement with our popcorn in The Transporter and Transporter II. A three-word review might be summed up as “Waste of time.”
Not that wasting time in a movie theater is the worst time spent. I didn’t feel like walking out on the film, as it certainly offers non-stop action. See, Chev Chelios (played by Statham) is a pro hitman who wakes up feeling really sick. He staggers to the TV where he sees a bad DVD waiting for him to watch.
The DVD shows a bad guy (who cares who he is) injecting a terrible Chinese drug into the back of Chev’s neck while Chevy was knocked out cold. This thug then explains to Chev that this drug will kill him in one hour.
So far, so good. But it turns out that as long as Chev gets his endorphins running (through wild acts of violence), he’s able to stave off death. So just imagine all the ways he’s able to keep his blood pumping? Sounds like rich material for a movie, eh? All he needs is enough time to exact his revenge. Oh, and see his girlfriend. More on that loser later.
Here, the movie makers decided to go for it – as far as they could go – and still get an “R” rating. The politically correct folks will claim the makers of this film are the anti-Christ. In one scene, Chev tosses a cabbie out of a cab to commandeer it and yells to the surrounding folks that, “He’s Al-Qaeda!” The crowd surrounds the cabbie and immediately starts to beat him, starting with a 70-year-old lady.
To keep his adrenaline up, he forces his girlfriend (a hopeless actress named Amy Smart) to have sex with him on a busy city sidewalk. This scene is so close to being public rape that it feels ugly. Even the crowd’s reaction, the whole scene is awful. How this movie kept the “R” rating is anyone’s guess. And how anyone thought that, A) Amy Smart would be a good addition to this film, or B) She could act, are beyond me. She’s terrible. Even her nude scenes are terrible. I hope to never again endure another film where she’s even remotely in the credits. 3rd-grade, school play, painful to watch unless they are YOUR OWN children levels of pitiful.
The longer the film goes on, the more lame it gets. As far as film technique, it’s filmed in MTV breakneck flashes of scenes, as if the editor was either paid by the cut or paid in cocaine. The ridiculous last minute of the film will have you shaking your head – and not in a good way.
– Avoid!
Invincible (PG)
Even if you think Mark Wahlberg can’t act AND you hate the Eagles football team and/or Philadelphia in general, you still might enjoy this “Rocky meets the NFL” movie mix based on Vince Papale’s true story.
If you like football.
Women liked Rocky. Even if women don’t claim to enjoy boxing, they’ve all watched a bout or two, and they always ended up rooting for one of the two boxers in the ring. Same thing applies here. If you have ever watched a football game and found yourself rooting for a certain team or player – then you like football enough to enjoy this film.
This is the story of a down-and-out guy, bartending at night – his wife walking out on him – GE plants going on strike – town down on its luck – bad times, and everyone is looking for a bright spot. The Eagles have it even worse, which for Philly, is the exclamation point.
When a weekend “open tryouts for the Eagles” comes over the TV, Vince’s friends convince him he should go for it. He’s always been the best player on the South Philly pick-up games (a well-shot part of the film that takes us inside the Philly most of us don’t know). In a once-in-a-lifetime event, Vince actually makes the team.
Who doesn’t like a Cinderella story? It’s a story about an American city in the dumps, and how one guy brought a spark of joy to an otherwise unbearable time in Philadelphia’s history. And of course, there is a love interest as well, with Elizabeth Banks perfectly cast for the role.
Even if you claim Mark Wahlberg can’t act (pretty tough to argue against that) then this is the perfect vehicle for Mark as it’s based on a real, normal guy. So the poor acting actually makes this film more believable, in a documentary sort of way.
Don’t like Philly? They explain that too. They are their own kind of folks, sticking together through thick and mostly thin.
Like a football game, this is probably more exciting sitting with a large group of people. But, just like Sunday football, it would certainly be a good view on your home TV set.
– See it on the Big Screen
The Descent (R)
It’s rare that a scary movie does the job it was intended to do. One way to judge the success or failure of a film is to observe the collective reaction of the movie-viewing audience around you. The Descent delivers. See it in the theater, and you’ll witness people clutching at the air, their seats, their partners, or simply jumping visibly in their seats. Many could not help but involuntarily scream and mumble to themselves. Men included.
The movie starts out innocently enough. A group of women get together every year for adrenaline-junky fun. We first see them participating in white-water rafting. A year later, six of them go caving (spelunking), descending deep (really deep) into a cave. After the ground rumbles and the cave caves in, they find themselves trapped inside with a bunch of blind, menacing, humanoid, flesh-eating creatures!
The cave is realistic; the scenes are dark where necessary. It’s gory and it’s scary all rolled into one. It’s genuinely good stuff. It’s what horror movies were meant to be.
This is NOT a Hollywood movie*. The characters here don’t shine their flashlights in ways only movie actors do, and they don’t drop their flashlights at all! These women also don’t run and fall down like a klutz when chased, like the other 352 scary movies you’ve seen. Refreshing. Great film direction.
And unlike other disappointing films (like the dismal The Hills Have Eyes) where the victims roll over and die like little white furry baby seals, these gals realistically fight for their lives. Individually if necessary. Whatever it takes. The human will to live is stronger than most people think.
* This European film (fully financed and produced by Celador Films) was released to European audiences in 2005 and already has an outstanding track record. Now it’s time for Americans to jump.
– See it on the Big Screen
Miami Vice (R)
For those that remember the TV show from the 80’s, this is a perfect example of “loosely based on…”
The TV Crocket and Tubbs had fun with their job and their relationships with the people around them. The movie Michael Mann directs is much darker and lacks even a pinky’s worth of funny bones.
Here Colin Farrell plays Crocket, and Jamie Foxx plays Tubbs. Gong Li, one of China’s top leading ladies, plays a mob accountant and within hours of meeting Crocket, becomes his love interest. The other players are murky underworld figures selling drugs or arms. These shadowy figures play this for that, and that for this until it’s impossible to really know who stands where and why. Perhaps this isn’t far from real life in the drug business where cops are bought and sold along with the goods. While the movie’s not boring, I became antsy with the lack of chemistry on the screen (relationship-wise, not chemically speaking). Again, perhaps in the underworld people are a bit shallow, but I would expect the cops to at least exchange more human dialog with one another. Farrell and Foxx seem like they are just earning a paycheck, both on the screen and off. Even Gong Li seems to struggle in her role.
The movie certainly faced its share of hardships, with multiple hurricanes disrupting and prolonging filming, etc. No doubt the cast was stressed during the extended delayed shoot and multiple location changes. In my opinion, it shows.
The final 35 minutes might be worth a trip to the theater if you don’t have decent surround sound at home. Michael Mann does know how to deliver a shootout involving automatic weapon gunplay, similar to his hit Heat. But Mann also sold out and tossed his tripods away to shoot this film in MTV shaky cam mode, which seems all the rage these days. It won’t make you ill, but you’ll sometimes wonder if one of the cameramen came to work drunk on alternate days. And why Mann allowed it to continue.
– Wait for Rental
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest (PG-13)
Part two of a three-part Pirates of the Caribbean projects finally hits the theaters. They reassembled the same cast as the first installment, but they didn’t spend much time with the script. They sure did shoot a lot of footage, though. I think we get to see all of it.
It’s much like a highly touted new Disney theme ride, where you wait in line for an hour in anticipation of a great time, only to be let down and disappointed at what the 40-second ride actually has to offer. But here it’s worse – this ride is 2:31 minutes, and you’re disappointed for a full 2 hours of the 2:31 total time.
They spent no time developing any sort of coherent plot; it’s simply a special effects ride with the characters in tow. But it’s so dull that even the special effects become tiresome.
They filmed part three simultaneously with part two, so don’t get your hopes up that the final film (set for summer 2007 release) will be any better. Part 3 was originally set up for release this Christmas. Hopefully, they held off to spend needed quality re-shooting and editing time.
– Wait for Rental